LGB people often say that coming out to parent's is more challenging than any other aspect of the coming out process. It is very hard to judge how parents are going to react to your sexuality. There are several things you should take into consideration.

When and where you decide to tell them is important. It's probably not a good idea to announce it at a family dinner party! Your parents may not react well, so try to go somewhere quiet where you can really have a chance to tell them exactly how you have been feeling and that will also give them the opportunity to say how they feel.

You will probably have already rehearsed how you might come out. Be prepared for the unexpected, Your parent's may have many questions to ask you so it's a good idea to be clear about what information you want to share.

Whatever their reaction is, it is best to stay calm and be clear about why you are telling them. This will hopefully enable your parent's to see that you are confident and sure of what you are saying

There are a few typical things that parents say when their son comes out. Plus a few suggestions on what you might want to say from young gay men who have been there

• "Where did we go wrong?"
• "You didn't do anything wrong, you have been wonderful parents and have raised a son who wants to be honest with you, who doesn't want to live a lie. A son who wants you to be part of his life"
• "It's just a phase"
• "I have been coming to terms with this for a long time and I know for sure that I am gay and will be for the rest of my life, I hope that after you are able to come to terms with it we can have a better relationship"
• "You just haven't met the right girl/guy yet"
• "I have met lots of girls but I am not attracted to them, I can't change the way I am"

So these are just a few ideas on how to respond to parent's questions. Just remember that the choice to come out is yours, don't be pressured. If it does not go well, there are support agencies for LGB people, check out the links page for more information.

Coming out to friends is usually a first step in coming out. It is a good idea to test their attitudes first, talk about LGB peoplel in the public eye and see what their thoughts are. If they come across as being homophobic it might not be a good idea to tell them just yet, you may want to try joining a LGBT youth group - you could meet other people and gain support and advice from them.

Being young and LGB can sometimes make you feel quite isolated. You may feel like you are the "only gay in the village". It is important at a time when you are coming to terms with your sexuality to have friends who can support and help sort your head out. Trust in friendships is vital, you may not want your friends to discuss your sexuality with anyone, so be clear about this from the outset.

Your friends should be able to help you decide what you want to do, they can be there to talk through any issues or concerns you might have and hopefully your friendship will become stronger as a result. They may also be able to support you if you decide to come out to your parents, or if you want to go out on the gay scene.

Coming out will give you the opportunity to meet lots of new people and have lots of new experiences but don't forget the friends that helped you on the way there.

The information on this page has been kindly provided by the Terrence Higgins Trust on their YGM Online website http://www.ygm.org.uk