Would you say you felt good about yourself a lot of the time? Would you feel confident making changes in your life in order to make situations more positive? Young gay men are often made to feel bad about themselves by a range of different sources - education, the media, parents, friends etc, so it is important to realise that it is up to you to make sure that you have enough support to get through these times.

Be realistic - if you feel that you need to make changes; just take it one step at a time. You may have a whole list of changes that you can make. These can range from eating healthier to spending more time with your friends. Learn to prioritise - if you try and do everything all at once you will wear yourself out and may end up feeling worse.

Assertiveness plays a huge role in well being. Just learning to say "no" to unreasonable requests can often give you more time to yourself so you can focus on looking after yourself and in turn those around you.

Being assertive and looking after yourself is not always easy, just be real about what you can achieve. Maybe you think people around you won't react well to the changes you are making - it is vital that you shut out their negativity. If you are happy with what you are doing then carry on and it will become easier with time.

LGBT people don't have a lot of role models in society. There are a few out there but it is important to remember to just be you. Don't feel pressured to dress a certain way or act like others. Strive to be the best you can be for yourself.

You may find it difficult accepting your sexuality or you may find that others have a problem with it. Things won't always be easy. You may feel wounded, you'll make mistakes - try to learn from the bad times. This will help you in the future.

It can be far too easy to focus on the negative but the glass need not always be half empty. Try and spend time each day thinking about what you have, what you are grateful for, what makes you happy. Just thinking in this way will raise your self esteem and help to change your outlook.

Your body will change when it is ready to. Everyone goes through puberty at different times so don't worry if other people are getting there quicker than you. It's perfectly normal.

You may have your own ideas about what other people are supposed to look like - from characters on TV and in the media. Most of the time gay men are stereotyped as being camp and effeminate. It's important to know that gay men are everywhere, don’t feel like you have to dress or look a certain way. Just be yourself!

The media can be very deceptive. Don't strive to be someone that you aren't. Celebrities and models have many people working lots of hours to make them look good. It is not realistic to look good 24/7. Stay focused on bringing out the best qualities that you already have.

If you are unhappy about your weight, don’t be drastic - don’t starve yourself. If you are going to change your diet always check with your GP first to ensure that you are doing what is best for you. Exercise does not have to be intense or back breaking. 30 minutes of exercise a day is a good start, Eating regular meals and taking time out to relax will also help. Remember to be realistic - try getting into a routine that suits your everyday life.

One thing that seems to plague all young men at some point is acne. The reason people get spots is because the pores get clogged up with oil and sweat. This mainly happens to men with oily skin. It is not the end of the world though - get to know what type of skin you have, is it dry? oily? Your local pharmacy will be able to help you decide which product will work best for you. Getting into a routine of cleansing and moisturising your skin will help to clear pores and reduce spots.

Peer pressure isn't always a bad thing, sometimes it can enable you to do something that maybe you haven't done before. It can motivate you to make positive changes. A lot of the time peer pressure isn't positive and can lead to you changing yourself for others rather than for yourself. Feeling that you have to:

• Wear the right clothes to fit in with a group
• Change/End friendships to suit others
• Have sex
• Drink/ Smoke/ Experiment with drugs

Take time out to think about what you want from coming out., from relationships and friendships. You don't have to change yourself at all. It's important that you make the decisions about your future.

There is no gay uniform, you can wear whatever feels good for you. Gay men come from all different backgrounds and it would be pretty boring if we all looked the same, so find your own style. If you feel good about the way you look other people will notice that too.

It is never ok to be pressured into having sex, if you do not feel safe in a situation it is important to speak out. Saying no can be difficult but if you are feeling pressured it is the most powerful thing you can say. It may sound silly but try practising saying no. Next time you find yourself in a situation where you usually agree to do something that you don't actually like doing just try saying no - it get's easier with practice!

You may want to try really hard to fit in with your friends, it is always best to make sure that you are doing something because you want to do it. No one should pressure you to drink or smoke or try drugs. Check out the scene survival guide, there is useful information on drugs and alcohol and safety,

Peer pressure has the potential to take over your decisions, If you are continually pressured into doing things that you don't want to do, it is pretty likely that you will feel worse after. Don't get caught in the trap, Live life the way you want to and make the right choices for you.

Have you ever felt anxious or stressed and not really been able to think why you have felt this way? Anxiety is generally an unpleasant feeling although it can sometimes be positive and realistic – enabling people to avoid dangerous situations, making people more alert and giving people the motivation to deal with problems.

Anxiety can also stop people from doing what they want to do for no apparent reason. This can leave people feeling miserable and often trapped in a situation with no way of getting over it.

Severe anxiety involves over-reacting to something that is not life-threatening or possibly even risky. If people avoid situations that leave them feeling anxious, the relief can be short-lived but in the long run it won’t be doing much good for the person’s mental health.

Here are some tips on coping with anxiety:

• Try to remain positive, you may have avoided a situation that left you feeling anxious recently but maybe next time you could try a little thing that would set you on your way to dealing with this. Take one day at a time
• It is often easier to deal with things if you get all the feelings out in the open, try making a list to start with that includes small tasks that will enable you to move on. Remember to make these tasks achievable and realistic
• Do things that help you to relax, for instance reading, listening to music or getting some fresh air on a long walk. This will help to clear your head and give you a refreshed outlook
• If lack of confidence is holding you back, it may have something to do with the way you see yourself. Improving your diet and exercise may make you feel more positive and give you more energy to tackle challenging tasks
• It is always good to talk things through with family or friends as support during difficult times can give you a new perspective and an opportunity to lessen your worries.

The word “Depression” is widely used but not really understood by a lot of people. You may say you are depressed after having a bad day or if you are really tired, but real ongoing depression is a lot more serious and can really affect lives.

Symptoms for depression can include:

• Feeling sad, down, hopeless, negative and irritable
• Ongoing negative thoughts
• Problems sleeping, having no energy and not eating properly
• Avoiding work.

Why do people suffer from depression?

Many aspects of life could lead to depression, these could include the loss of a loved one, the breakdown of a relationship or losing your job. Depression may also run in the family.

Eating disorders are often a result of emotional or psychological distress and usually take the shape of an obsessive relationship with food, either under eating or over eating. Eating disorders can often be a way of blocking out pain or frustration.

Types of Eating Disorder

Anorexia

Psychological disorder in which sufferers have a distorted view of their own body and weight, leading to deliberate starvation.

Bulimia

Bulimics tend to gorge on food until they are physically sick or even make themselves sick after any meal. Some bulimics may also use laxatives to induce diarrhoea

Binge Eating

This could involve generally having a healthy diet but then binge eating if depressed, anxious or upset.

Who gets eating disorders?

It has been thought for a long time that it is mainly young women who are susceptible to eating disorders, often due to the media’s distorted image of what women should look like. More and more agencies are seeing young gay men with eating disorders which also may be linked to the way the gay press portrays the gay image.

Where can you go for help if you feel this way?

Firstly you cannot be helped if you don’t want to be helped, you have to accept that you have an eating disorder and you want to stop or you want more control over your relationship with food.

You may want to start by talking about your problem with someone you trust, like a family member, friend, teacher, doctor or you may feel safer getting help from a trained counsellor.

You may want to talk to a dietician to get help around what foods are best for you to over- come your disorder.

It is important to remember that eating disorders need to be treated on 2 levels – both with diet and with what’s going on in your head.

Self harm is more common than most people think. It is estimated that 1 in 10 teenagers will self harm at some point. If you or someone you know is harming themselves it is important to remember that it is does not make you mad or bad. It is often a cry for help and although self harm does not always lead to suicide, if not treated it may not stop until it is too late.

For many years it has been estimated that it is mainly young women that self harm although figures from the Samaritans show that young men reporting self harm has doubled in the last 10 years.

There are many situations and feelings that could lead to a young person self harming. These could include:

• low self esteem
• bullying
• family troubles
• depression
• relationship problems
• work/school problems
• financial worries

Self harm can take many forms:

• cutting
• burning
• overdoses
• bruising

If you know someone who is self harming then don’t shy away from it. They will need understanding and support. There is a counselling service at Uni and you should not shy away from going and asking what you could do as a friend.

Counselling can often help to find alternative ways of dealing with problems. If you are self harming be clear about what you think is achievable, take it one step at a time and gradually you may notice that your situation improves.